Donovan will soon be 4.  Doesn’t seem possible.  Just yesterday, I was miserable and pregnant.  Thinking this was the worst thing that could have ever happened to me while I was thinking he was the biggest blessing I could ever have.  Having a baby with Scott was something I didn’t think would ever happen.  We had decided we didn’t “need” to have one.  We had the boys and Elaina and we were fine.  And I think we were right about that.  But I also think we were just meant to be parents together.  I can’t imagine life without him any more.

Things to remember…at this time in my pregnancy, I’d been put on bedrest.  The day after my shower at school which was in the first week of November, I started having contractions.  Dr. Cook said enough and told me to stay home.  I’m surprised he let me go that long, honestly.

So I was at home and miserable.  Scott put me to work painting the carousel horse that’s now in the living room behind me.  I painted bears on fabric for Donovan’s walls and painted the letters of his name on fabric blocks to hang up as well.  Those are now on the walls of his room here, fitting in with the forest mural very well.

I crocheted so much I don’t think I’ll be doing that again until I’m 80.  So many blankets.  So restless.  By then, I just wanted to hold him.  I would lay awake at night and move just so I could feel him kick.

Now, I have this little monster who runs through my house like it’s a race track.  He fills our days with laughter and insanity.  And the nights?  Well, now we read a story, turn off the lights, and in the dark, he whispers, “Give me a snuggle, Mommy.”

How lucky can a mommy be?