Put out the last run of onions and pumpkins today.  I’m not sure about my timing for the pumpkins, but this is the earliest I could get it out.  I know where to get them if mine don’t produce.  Now if God will just provide the rain, I’ll be much happier. I won’t even ask for a decrease in temperature.

Noticed that something’s decided to sample the corn.  Too tall for a vole, so I’m guessing coon or ‘possum.  Not much to do about that.  As long as they don’t sample all of them, I’m fine with it.

Trying to make arrangements to take my boys to the movies tomorrow night.  I’ve got two going, but don’t know about the third.  Wanted to go today, but couldn’t get in touch with Zak.  Donovan’s all geared up to see Toy Story 3.  And get popcorn.  And a drink.

A little bit of everything.  Garden, Donovan on the straw bales, the work in the new pantry.  Need to get new pictures since we’ve started adding to the shelves.

Sitting Tall

◄ Back

Next ►

Picture 1 of 32

Yesterday was his birthday.  He turned 26.  He was on his way to Florida with his girlfriend and her family.  I sent a message, but didn’t call him because I knew he had alot going on. He tried to call me, but I missed him.  I was in and out of the house most of the day.  And phone tag with Zak is always difficult because he’s usually involved with so many things.  I’ve gotten used to him having other plans for his birthday.  It’s been that way for a long time.  And it’s okay.

I would have posted something yesterday, but I knew it would make me cry.  I had hoped today would be better, but it isn’t. And that’s okay.

He was so little and so sweet.  Those first few years, we were such a team.  He was my best friend and we were so close.  I had hoped that closeness would last forever.  Wanted it to.  Needed it to.

What a crazy dream that was.  Little boys grow up and move on.  And some move on farther than others.  Just the way of life, I suppose.  I try not to take it personally.  I try to act like it doesn’t bother me.  For a while, I tried to ride that fence and act like everything was okay.  And then, I just had to learn to get tough about it.  And that’s really okay.  I can do that.

The fact is, I’m just mom.  I just gave birth to him.  I just did the best I could with him.  And then, he moved on.  And I pray it doesn’t hurt so much some day.  Or that I can manage to keep up the facade indefinitely.

He’s such a talented, wonderful young man.  I’m so lucky to have him as my son.  I just wish…for that feeling again I know I can never get back.  And I suppose…that’s all okay.

Happy Birthday, Zak.  I miss you, sweetie.  And I love you more than you’ll ever know.

When Donovan was little, he was such a good eater.  Up until the time he was about a year old, that is.  I’m not real sure what happened after that, although I remember him stuffing his mouth full of hot dog and gagging on it.  After that, he was done with so many things.

He had created himself quite a rut.  It’s not that he ate a bunch of junk because we don’t keep it around.  More that he had no variety.  And that made going out to eat with him or doing anything else quite a challenge.

So this week, I started fighting back.  I’ve forced his hand and the surprising part is that he’s done rather well.  We do special treats for eating good meals.  Good meals means we’ve tried at least 3 bites of everything on our plate and we’ve eaten most of something.  It’s been interesting to watch him start to fight and then stop.  There’s only been two things he wasn’t touching.  Dill pickles and stir fry zucchini.  Neither really surprised me.  I try to make sure that at every meal, there’s something he’s had before and likes.  That gives him something to fall back on when I tell him we have to eat more.

Who knows?  By the end of the summer, he might even be eating brussel sprouts.  Yuck…

Probably should have posted these separately but decided just to put the pictures together since there aren’t very many of Donovan.  Just being his usual silly self. He was dressed for bug watching, watching wasps outside his window.

Took Elijah and Donovan to go get blueberries today.  Fourteen pounds of berries sitting on the counter.  Donovan’s insisting on blueberry pancakes.  Guess I know what I’ll be doing for supper whether I like it or not.  That’s okay, though.  Tonight, it’ll just be me and the boys so we’ll probably just throw something together.

Haven’t felt like messing with the garden or yard since I got out of school.  Not sure if it’s just a bug or allergies, but I’ve been pretty miserable.  Taking a break for a while and then we’ll go out to get some things done.

Lilies are starting to bloom.  Always love this time of year.  Will start getting pic of them tomorrow, I suppose.  For now, it’s something to help me breathe and kitchen clean up time.

4 years ago today, a small miracle came into our lives.  Since then, we’ve had more ups than downs, though I have to admit, he’s been more than just a bit of a handful.  This year,  he wanted a Brobee cake.  Brobee is a funny looking green character from Yo Gabba Gabba.  So, Scott and I got busy looking at ideas online and then took off on the Brobee adventure.

It’s actually two cakes, the body being one – a yellow cake with food coloring to make it green – and the other making the arms, legs, and horns.  We did that part in chocolate.  Scott cut the pieces and put the body together.  Elaina and I did the decorating.  I think it turned out rather well.

Happy Birthday, Donovan.  You are loved more than you know.

Donovan will soon be 4.  Doesn’t seem possible.  Just yesterday, I was miserable and pregnant.  Thinking this was the worst thing that could have ever happened to me while I was thinking he was the biggest blessing I could ever have.  Having a baby with Scott was something I didn’t think would ever happen.  We had decided we didn’t “need” to have one.  We had the boys and Elaina and we were fine.  And I think we were right about that.  But I also think we were just meant to be parents together.  I can’t imagine life without him any more.

Things to remember…at this time in my pregnancy, I’d been put on bedrest.  The day after my shower at school which was in the first week of November, I started having contractions.  Dr. Cook said enough and told me to stay home.  I’m surprised he let me go that long, honestly.

So I was at home and miserable.  Scott put me to work painting the carousel horse that’s now in the living room behind me.  I painted bears on fabric for Donovan’s walls and painted the letters of his name on fabric blocks to hang up as well.  Those are now on the walls of his room here, fitting in with the forest mural very well.

I crocheted so much I don’t think I’ll be doing that again until I’m 80.  So many blankets.  So restless.  By then, I just wanted to hold him.  I would lay awake at night and move just so I could feel him kick.

Now, I have this little monster who runs through my house like it’s a race track.  He fills our days with laughter and insanity.  And the nights?  Well, now we read a story, turn off the lights, and in the dark, he whispers, “Give me a snuggle, Mommy.”

How lucky can a mommy be?

We took the kids to my parents’ for Halloween this year.  Since it was on a weekend, it was a nice time to do it and we got to spend some time down there for a change.  Living on the highway, we don’t get trick-or-treaters.  We could have gone through the neighborhood behind us, but this just seemed like a nice opportunity to go to Mom’s.  We took homemade pumpkin pie and they had white chili and barbecue.  It was a great evening and the kids had fun.  We even got to see a dead guy in a coffin!  Donovan, typically full of comments, seemed a bit speechless over that one.  But they were great people and let us get a couple of pictures for his scrapbook.

[Show as slideshow]

[View with PicLens]

I lost my voice for a couple of days. Still not sure what it was, but I decided I didn’t need to be around Donovan so Scott took over bedtime. I’ve missed putting Donovan to bed. Story time and snuggles are the best part of my day. He’s growing up so fast he won’t let me do those things much longer.