Going through old files, I found some things that Scott had kept I believed were long gone.  Reminds me how much I love him and how lost I would be without him.  And how much I miss my feeble attempts at writing…

There are days in our marriage that are hard.  Days that are only mindless and ordinary.  But from being in a bad marriage, I understand more just how precious a good marriage is and how lucky I am he found me.  Or I found him.

I believe that God understood me and knew what I needed when I didn’t understand myself.  How wonderful is that?  Quite a gift to receive when you didn’t know you needed it.

So for my husband, whom I adore and cherish more than I ever thought possible…

I love you, Scott Alan….Always….

Finding Me…

I found myself the other day in a place most unlikely
not hidden in the back of my own mind,
cowering in a corner as I had suspected I would do.
Not overexposed in the boisterous words tumbling from my mouth, as I had so feared I would do.
Not limboed in some point on the brink of sanity, teetering on a wall as I had been told I would do.
But protected in the warmth of another source
safely kept, as I had so dreamed I would do
I found myself the other day in your eyes.

On Trusting Again…

I answered questions I did not know that I had asked~
Until I saw the answers there in black and white..
I felt the impact of their every word come at me in a wave~
So strong I could not help but wonder if the force might carry me away..
Yet I knew that I was stronger than before I asked the questions
I realized that I had ridden that wave too many times
Too much to fear the impact it would have upon my life
So I simply rode the wave
Into the part of me I had not known
Discovering not an end but a beginning to my life
And all the dreams that I had known